I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
