Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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