hotel room ftw
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This is my gift to your gina
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize