and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
