Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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