Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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