We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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