i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
