Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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