Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
As shirtless as possible
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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