last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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