So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
