I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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