I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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