Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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