can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
