i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
