i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
