I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
