sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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