Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
