It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
