it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
