There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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