Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
