Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
