I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
