I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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