Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
