maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
