it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
