Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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