we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
