be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
