I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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