Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
