i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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