i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How naked do you want me to be?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
