Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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