if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
