Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
