Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
