I puked a lego.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
