I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
