i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
