Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
