I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
