just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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