Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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