Pants 0. Shit 1.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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