small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
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I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
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I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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