i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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