Umm I'm too high to move.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
