She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
