I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
