he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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