I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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