This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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